Lock Your Windows, Close Your Doors

The Possums are loose! From the New York Post:

"It was the week of July 19 when an opossum allegedly chomped the head off a hen roosting in Unes’s backyard chicken coop, leaving the choked chicken to die in a pile of blood-speckled feathers — and so thoroughly terrified the lone survivor that she can’t even lay eggs.

Unes, who was on vacation in Oregon at the time, entrusted her Carroll Street home — and her two-chicken henhouse in her backyard — to longtime friends David Winters and Merritt Tucker, a married couple who were visiting from California. 

In the early morning hours of July 22, Winters recalled hearing some sort of commotion in the backyard — and received a vague reminder of Osbourne’s notorious stage antics."

If only New York City made it legal to have roosters, none of this would have happened.

Help This Man Find His Pants!

Break out your inspector's hats people. There are some pants on the loose, most likely on Smith Street, between Union and President. From the New York Times:

"Rather than wear the suit to the audition, and risk getting it sweaty, Mr. Grossetti had decided to carry it with him and change at a friend’s place when he got out of the subway. He left his Union Street apartment, holding the suit over his shoulder, in that relaxed and confident manner of relaxed and confident men: One of his one-act plays was going on tour in Tasmania. 

When Mr. Grossetti took the suit out at his friend’s apartment, the pants were gone. They were his wedding pants, the suit pants he had worn in March when he and his wife, Chloe Walker, 36, were married in Central Park, on the Bow Bridge."

Hard-hitting journalism from the paper of record.